is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
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i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
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I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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