Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Farmville is her only friend.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
