I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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