Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
