No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
