You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
