you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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