I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
