i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize