I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
operation have a gay friend backfired
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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