I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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