Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize