I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Are we still banned from the library?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
