i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
