yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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