Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
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He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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