seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
