You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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