At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
