Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
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How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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