The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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