whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
