Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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