Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
