Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
worst night to have a conscience
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
