Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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