Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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