Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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