'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
