I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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