i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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