Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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