this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
