U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I looked at my own cervix.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
