is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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