I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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