i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
