Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
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We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
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Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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