Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the room spins SO much faster in panama
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
