This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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