My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
