the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
