i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
