I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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