real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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