eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
