I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
