I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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