I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
So. Much. Porn.
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