It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
