My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
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We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
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I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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