I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
