He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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