UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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