it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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