Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
