O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
