What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
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and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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