you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
