My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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