You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
