Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
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I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
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He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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