don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
