I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize