dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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