Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
