I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
