based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
