:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
