I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
wow bdsm is so cute
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
