It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
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Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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