If that was your dad, he is hot
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
