Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
