nut hugger
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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